I am really sorry to hear about your son. I am the parent of an only child too, and my child means the world to me. He is the reason I get out of bed in the morning and the reason I fight against my PN. He is growing up way too fast, and getting more and more independant. I have to keep on reminding myself that he is not mine as a possession,but it is my job to give him roots and then wings I guess.

But a mother is a mother no matter how old her children be.

When I think of my child growing up so fast, I think of this poem I read,
by Robert Frost.

Natures first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold
Her early leaf a flower
But only so an hour

Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay-


I hope this get's easier for you Mel,and remember always, you did the best job you could.