Okay...so in October I got a letter from my pain management doc that said he is no longer going to be seeing any patients and a list of referrals. I did a bit of research on the internet to see which of those have dealt specifically with RSD and picked one out. Called in October to make an appointment and I was told that they needed to get permission from work comp before I could even SCHEDULE an appointment. Went a month hearing NOTHING and in the mean time the pharmacy told me that they could no longer fill my perscription because my doc isn't taking patients anymore. So I tried again. Got a call a week and a half ago saying that work comp will not approve the appointment. Just like them to wait until the last possible second to say no, not return phone calls, and leave me in a horrible situation.

Spoke to my lawyer and he said make the appointment with my regular insurance and then we will take them to court for reimbursement after the appeal is completed on my case (I was awarded a significant amount by the judge in my case and work comp is appealing...despite the fact that the judge stated very clearly in the award that they offered "not one iota of evidence to contradict" anything). My lawyer thinks that this is why they are not returning calls and so forth.

Well...I am out of medication now. No Lyrica, tramadol, meloxicam, or doxepin. One 2 more lidoderm patches left. The earliest appointment that I could make was for this Friday. I have 2 more shifts at work before then and I think I will be needed to use crutches just to get in to work...which will still be incredibly painful. The pain is so intense right not and I am just frigging ANGRY that this situation even exists. I should not be in this amount of pain right now. I can't even think straight, the pain is so bad, and I am trying so hard not to get too stressed out because I know that will only make it worse.

With my medication I am usually at a 6 on the pain scale. Now...I am at a 9/10...barely able to function. I don't want to call off work...don't want to antagonize them in the slightest...but if I can't handle it I will have to. I hate that they make me feel bad in this sort of situation. I put myself through so much physical pain every day just to do my job...and then they put me in this situation in the first week of December (not like it's busy or anything in retail). Not that it would be okay any time of the year...but it just makes me feel guilty that I can't do what I need and want to do.

I know that what I need to do is not worry about it. Not worry about all the things that won't get done at work and just relax and take care of myself until Friday. It will be a hellish 5 days (did I mention my birthday is Wednesday day...happy birthday to me right) but what sort of damage will I cause myself by trying to do more than I should?

Just needed to vent this out and get it off my mind. Helps me destress and calm down...which I desperately need right now.