Thanks, Annie and Alice. I knew you would totally understand, and have very practical suggestions. Alice, that's exactly it: whatever I learn about how to live has to be constantly adjusted.

Annie, that helps a lot, what you say about the benefit of even infrequent counseling. I can face making one appointment. It's the idea of "every Monday" or something like that that overwhelms me. I will also see if I can find a chronic illness counselor--I didn't realize there were those sorts of specialists.

Depression is a funny thing. I don't really notice feeling sad. What I notice is that I don't feel like doing anything. And, of course, not doing anything creative puts me deeper in to a funk. It's a vicious circle.

Alice, the thought that there is no way to fully learn to live with this disease is an extremely useful thought for me. If I cannot walk to church, or go grocery shopping, I accept that as part of my disease. It doesn't feel like a personal failure. But if I misjudge my capability and overdo it, or (on the other extreme) if I underestimate myself and end up being lazy, those things feel like personal failures. But they're not! They're part of the disease, too. I need to put them in the same category in my mind with other things I can't do, or have trouble doing, because of the disease.

Thanks. This is really helpful to me to talk about these things. I am going to look for a counselor/therapist now.

Abby