I will get back to respond to some of your other replies. I want to tell everyone though how much it means to me that you have all responded to me with so much compassion and caring.

An update on the Mestinon: I caved this morning and took 30 mg. I noticed that my arms were really weak and burning when I was holding the newspaper up to read. I also had a revelation that sort of put this in perspective for me. I'm not sure I can explain, but I'll try.

OK, since I've been on the Mestinon (somewhere around 6 weeks I think), I haven't had that pure exhaustion or the feeling that I can't talk or breath. I have been able to do more than I was able to in the past.

I think the doctor just messed with my mind. He made me doubt myself as to whether I'm really sick. I know that I am. I can go back and read my blog and see and remember how bad I was in the past.

I don't want to take the chance of not being able to breath just to prove a point to this neuro who probably doesn't care anyway.

I hope I've made some sense. It was a long night here.

Thanks again.