I'm very sorry to hear about the way your daughter treats you. I agree with Lily's suggestion that you create your own "family" - finding activities that you love is a great way to develop friendships.

I don't know whether you might be able to retain some kind of relationship with your daughter and grandchildren by lowering your expectations of that relationship and getting your own needs met by a "family" you create with friends. I guess that would depend on her. It certainly isn't good for you to stay in a relationship where you aren't respected and treated well. No one deserves that.