My friend is now 59 years old. I met her around 18 years ago through another friend. She weighed 58 lbs when I first met her. You have no idea what it feels like to be looking at a human skull but that is exactly what she looked like at 58 lbs.

She's been anorexic since she was 15. I often speak to her mother who is 83 who is so sweet and nice and goes crazy when my friend refuses to eat. She will not, under any circumstances go above 100 lbs.

When we visited her in the hospital (she gets hospitalized a lot because she bleeds a lot), she was retaining fluid and she got up to 120. Well, she caused such a scene in the hospital roomI could not believe it. Accused everybody of trying to get her fat. The gave her lasix and she dropped the excess water over night.

She's been in and out of eating disorder clinics. It broke up her marriage. She and I have had many talks on this. More often I just listen because you can't make anybody EAT, the same way you can't force anyone who is obese to diet. It just doesn't compute in her head.

I have no idea what her meds are because she's on so many. She's been on antidepressants and xanax for years. She was on coumadin but they had to put a port in her because she has bad veins but they couldn't put the port in because she was bleeding. They took her off the coumadin and put her on heparin for a while. They finally got the port in. She came home yesterday. She won't eat. Oh, on the phone she tells me "I think I'll have a nice chicken pot pie for dinner". I know she tells me this but I also know she doesn't eat. In all the 18 years we have known each other (and we have been to many luncheons and affairs), I have seen her eat exactly one piece of chicken. I got so excited I went over to her and said "My god, you are eating" we both laughed.

But she did go from 58 lbs to the 100 in about 8 years. But she got diagnosed with emphasema at 51 (big smoker), then last year she got the stage 3 diagnosis. We offer support, comfort and friendship. This is her second bout of chemo. It seems that during a scan they found 3 spots on her lung (she had had radioactive seeds implanted) and her whole family wouldn't go near her because they felt she was radioactive. It was the most ridiculous thing I ever saw in all my life. I actually called the department of radiation in some city and spoke to an expert on radiation and he set me straight. She was no danger. And this was about a year ago so the half life of these pellets is over but noooooooooooo, some of her family still don't get it. Ignorance is terrible.

She thinks 100 lbs is suitable for her 5'3 frame and everyone looks at her like she's bonkers but she is adamant. I bet she weighs herself every day.

She once had a laxative habit which landed her in the hospital and they had to do something in her colon. It was a big surgery.

To me, the anorexia (in her case) is hurting her more than the cancer because don't you have to have good nutrition while you are undergoing radiation and chemo? Don't you have to drink ensure and stuff like that?

I've been to her house many times and have NEVER seen her eat a thing.

This anorexia is a really devastating disorder but honestly no one can believe she has lasted this long.

Yesterday I was doing my supportive pal thing. I'm the only one who can actually make her laugh. She was starting to cry and say "I don't know how much more I can take" and I blurt out: "For gods sake, you have anorexia and cancer, what are you crying about"?? She started laughing her head off. We had a good talk.

Can a person with anorexia, stage three lung cancer, etc. (oh, she has a spot on her brain which they gave her radiation or), can she actually make it?

I am always on the upbeat with her but honeslty, she must have some strong heart to have lived so long and not gained a pound.

No one can make her eat a thing. Her poor mother, well, it's hard.

I've never weighed 100 lbs in my entire life. I can't imagine being that tiny.

All we can do is pray. I keep telling her that God has a purpose for her on this world. Thank God she has her faith.

be well.

Melody