Lately, I have been noticing more my train of thought and mental condition as a whole. I am constantly taking blame not only to myself, but to others also, for abuse that occured in my childhood, teens, and young adult life. I have not been a victim for some time now, but I am always in that place. I am always taking responsibility for what others have done to me. I am going to begin going to cognitive therapy in about a week, and I am hopeing to correct this. I need to learn a new way of thinking. I also am very suspicious of everyone. I take 99% of what is said to me as an insult. Immediately. It's my snap reaction. It's my mental conditioning from years of abuse. At least I at times, can see this, and know that it's because of all the abuse and not actually as things are. but it's so difficult to see intentions as good, and reality is fleeting on this subject, most of the time. Any words of understanding or encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

-Cgirl-