I had been battling that depression cloud off and on quite a bit, so I certainly know how this feels......
This is the place to bring the frustration my dear friend!! Please don't make the same mistake I've done in the past......and that is the mistake of isolating and putting up walls.....not wanting to 'be a bother' to others....

We were having this very discussion on Tara's thread, as she too has been struggling. We ALL do! It's kinda of like we get hit in 'waves'......depending on what we are going thru in our seperate little 'worlds'.....I believe with ALL my heart, Saffy, that we SHOULD come here to talk it out......
That's what this forum is FOR! yes? ......

You are trying to cope with the frustration and anxiety as you wait for answers regarding your trial.....and the days must seem like MONTHS, as you are dealing with that sciatica pain......and you are trying so hard to stay above that pain, but the meds are bringing on side effects, which further aggrivates things! It's no WONDER you are feeling this way!

Please hang on to HOPE......you WILL get that call.....and then you can finally get the trial procedure and our prayer is that you will instantly know if the SCS is going to bring your quality of life back!
The cold weather and not being able to get out............you've got so many things stacked against you right now.....

I try my best to hang on to the Hope of that 'New Day'....and remind myself that 'This too shall pass' !! But, unless I come here, the place where my PEEPS are....the place where we all understand each other's ups and downs.....if I keep to myself for fear of being a 'bummer'....it only makes it worse. We build each other up. We pick each other up.
Things are gonna start shining for you Saffy......the sun is gonna peek out and shed some light and you will get the incentive to hang in there...because your day is coming!........SOON!!

Always Caring,
Rae