Thank you both for sharing your experiences. I know this topic isn't always easy to discuss, and often brings up sadness, so I greatly appreciate that you both are willing to talk about it.

Technically, we could do AI (artificial insemination) because as far as we know our only fertility problem is my husbands inability to produce any sperm.... but the reality is that I probably would not be able to carry a child due to my own health problems.

We have thought about adoption, but these days so many birth parrents want open adoption to be able to choose their childs adoptive parents, and the reality is that birth parents are not likely to choose a couple where both have ongoing health issues, where one parent is medically disabled along with anxiety issues.... plus we can't even afford to buy a condo or small home, so again, who would choose a family who lives in a rental, and how would we even afford the adoption....

So, if we decide to adopt, it will be a foreign adoption - mainly because (at least in my state) the birth parents have 2 months after the birth and after handing over the child to change their minds. I would not be able to handle having a child ripped out of my arms.

The one thing that we have considered very seriously, is foster care. In my state there is an agency that works only with older children (above 10) who need long-term homes (until they turn 18 and age out of the system). These kids have birth parents who will never get custody again, but for various reasons the children are not able to be adopted. We are very interested in this group because they are older, because they need long-term placement, and mostly because these kids need so much love.

Anyway, sorry to babble on and on, but it helps so much to be able to talk and get it all out.

Again, thank you snoopy and bobbi for sharing your experiences. I hate that anyone else has to deal with the sadness, but it is comforting and helpful to at least know I am not alone, and to be able to talk to people who truly understand.

((((((((hugs)))))))))

Liz