Originally Posted by frogga

Hi everyone,

How are you all doing? Sorry I haven't really been around - RSD can end up taking up so much of life that you can't bear to think about it/ talk about it etc. I had a major flare up and it's taken me a while to get back control of my body, mind and life! The recovery and climb back up from my flare up has been far longer and deeper than normal.

I now have an assistance dog in training, Edgar who is fantastic. James bought me Edgar for my birthday and to try and get me interested in life again. (Being stuck in bed and not seeing anyone but James, Mum, my sister and my carer really stuck me in a rut especially being stuck needing darkness and silence - at uni my friends would give me a break when I was in a severe flare and as soon as I was well enough to have someone else in the room they were there forcing me to get on with living - even if it had to be living from bed for a bit! But whatever. I don't remember much from flare up time but I'm now back to sitting up in my wheelchair and trying to finish Christmas shopping with James.

Edgar is a 14 week old black lab/ alsation cross and is so lovely - he's really given me the will back to keep fighting this. I didn't realise how low I had got with the flare up etc until I started fighting to get back to being "me" and I'm just about starting to feel human again. He is being trained alongside me instead of coming from a service dog centre - we had talked alot about how to get a service dog and eventually decided to train one from scratch with a charity - Dog Aid, and a dog trainer who has offered her services for free. I will still require carers when Edgar is fully trained, but, during good patches I am hoping I can be left on my own with Edgar and just have some more freedom. So fingers crossed Edgar continues to make the grade (as the puppies grow up it sometimes becomes clear they are not suited to service dog training - I would hate that to happen with Edgar, but, if that happens then James and I will have a fantastic family dog and can look at going through different channels next time).

I have been referred for the DBS - one neurosurgeon has refused so far as he considers my condition too complex and isn't comfortable with the lack of medical support. This has got a thousand times harder since I moved back from Bath - none of the pain doctors in my area will take me on as I have been under some of the top specialists in the UK and they feel that there is nothing more that they can do for me which is proving pretty heart breaking for everyone. I feel I can't win a lot of the time - they say I need to change opiates every 6 months, but the GP won't do it as they don't feel they know enough and I need a pain doctor.. who won't take me because I'm too complex etc etc.

However, good news! James and I have hopefully found a house! It's social housing so the rents are cheaper and it's a three bedroom bungalow that they've agreed to adapt for us, and even better there is both an ensuite and another bathroom (we haven't been allowed to view the property yet as it hasn't been completed yet - but should see it in the new year. However, I'm now stuck in the ridiculous rut of having to make decisions about equipment without having seen the house!). But, with my own bathroom we can have a closemat (wash/ dry toilet), ceiling track hoists and (hopefully) a bath - it has a roll in shower but I just can't tolerate that. Apparently there's flat access throughout, flat access to the garden, we can take Edgar with us etc and there's a room for carers. It's also only 20 minutes from my mums and main carers. Even better my father has decided to move abroad and has closed up his house here and we have got the furniture. It's exciting as we'll HOPEFULLY be moving in January (but it depends how long it takes to get the vital adaptations and equipment in).

Ali - sorry to hear that they've decided that your RSD is systemic - was this to do with the fainting as well? Debbie - Wow - I thought the Dr's were certain about the RSD? might be interesting to hear if they think there's specific nerve injury problems that could be fixed.

I hope that you are all doing well and I will try to be around a bit more and I hope you all understand that I haven't been avoiding you! Just trying to get over this stupid, stupid flare up!

Love and Christmas Wishes

Rosie xxx