does anyone else get this?

I swear I am in a flare lately. my vision is so blurry and fuzzy. The eye MD said my optic nerve looks fine, but MS has probably damaged the nerve itself from repeated attacks. Everything is out of focus. like someone smeared vaseline on my eyeballs only it isnt adding moisture. My eyes are so dry that I swear when I blink its like sandpaper rubbing the eyeball itself.

I am back on steroid eye drops and steroid ointments for them and the MD is pushing me to do more IVSM. Last IVSM I ended up with pancreatitis and its scares me.

I feel isolated, alone and that folks are hyper critical of me. now, I am sure that is all part of whatever flare this is, but its still not a nice corner to be in. I want to feel accepted, and respected and included, but so far this season I feel excluded and left out. I miss my children, I miss my friends in another state, and I miss my old life. MS is supposed to be about a walking disability, not about vision! not about fatigue or cog fog. I feel tricked by this disease. when it arrived it dragged in promises of wheel chairs and the need for a walking cane, not the need for a blind cane and a seeing eye dog.

Gawd, this is such a stupid disease!