I am sorry to hear that you have such a hard time with the showing/bathing issues. There is nothing worse than wanting to shower and not being able to do so. Please consider getting help into your home. There are agencies that specialize in home health care. You will feel alot better, if you have someone to help you. I had a friend of mine come over to help me get showers during my recovery. That was a true gift. Feeling clean I think helps your metal state, it did make me feel much better. I hope the holidays bring you some help, and peace into your life. ginnie