Losing a loved one is hard enough, but to lose him during the holidays must have made it SO much more devestating! I'm sorry to hear of this saddness. .....
I know, no matter how many years go by, that 'day' is always going to be a sad one. And we can't help but allow our hearts to go back and re-live it in our mind. I guess it's only natural......but it sure is hard.
Go ahead and let the tears flow. That's what I do and it feels 'right'.
You can still celebrate and honor your Dad's life....and it's ok to cry as many tears as you must. It may sound a bit strange, but in my experience in losing my Brother, is that the more tears shared as we talk about him, the better it heals our hearts. Because some of those tears are shed as we talk about and reminisce of the happy times. Sometimes we even laugh during these tears. Let them flow. They can be like music to the soul.

A (((HUG))) to a very special Friend
...(((Saffy)))...
........Rae