msangsland,
Thank you for responding. It's nice to hear that someone has gone through something similar and has been able to deal with the anger. My son is now in therapy, but I don't know if it's really helping. Did it take a long time for it to help with you? He goes into the therapist for about 20 minutes and then I'm called in (on my own or with my son). The therapist talks to him about "counting backwards" when he gets angry, but when I've reminded him to do it when he's at home, he says "thats stupid and it doesn't work."