Arg... (I was going to say a bad word), Im mad again... this time the anger is against me...

Is like I cant do things correctly...

Even in silly things... I always take the wrong decision... blah... I can only disappoint myself...

what to do when you are never satisfied with yourself ??? When will I learn ?? Im never happy with the decision I make... I think I have a problem... of... selfesteem maybe !? dont know how to call it... But Im always mad with me... always regreting... always thinking what if I had, or I hadnt... and, as a consequence, I usually end up feeling so mad, frustrated, disapointed and... dont know, I always feel envy for everybody else ??

Shut... Im mad... Im so wrong I know... but cant help it... I just hate me... I have always have this nasty feeling since I was like 10 ? I used to cut myself... I dont do it anymore because my anger is so terrible that cutting me is not even enough... so, I just.... blah.. cry ? I feel terrible... cant explain it properly... I feel like Im sick...