Don't give up. It will become real for you. Try praying with several people. There's more power in that. Try praying the Lords prayer,and forgive people who have offended you. I pray for God to forgive me for my sins before I pray usually. Sometimes I forget.

Have you received Jesus into your heart? Ask him to make it real to you. Talk to him,and tell him what you told us.

Everyone suffers. In reading the Bible you will understand after a while. God bless you. Don't give up. Brokenfriend