i undersatand what your going thru.also being lost,confused,anxiety,etc.i experiencing those things right now myself.and so are a lot of others here.so you not alone."Jo-Mar"seems to hit it just right with her advice to you.im going thru workman comp.but i have a workman comp lawyer anyway.i to have 30yrs at my job but i worked for a big company(lockheed).so i dont worry about them.they replaced me as soon as i left i'll be 55 this year so im a bit older.but think the workman comp lawyer is the way to go.its what they do.maybe permanent disability may be his/her other option for you also