I have to be honest... I read your post last night my friend... and I couldn't respond... because I want to "help" you and I know that I can't....

the only one who can help you is you....

so I echo what Alffe said...

and I hope that one day you find out you are worth every ounce of fight you might have inside you to become the person you want to be...

I'm here for you... I think you know that!

xo