I do read posts each day and I found this one. I took care of both my parents during their decline and deaths. I had home care and hospice, nursing, extra help, it still came down to me and how I could help my parents. I did have to make my mother take a shower. I am sorry to go just a bit against the grain. Older folks as a rule do not like to take showers at all. I understand this from their view point, and it is very upsetting to them It still can be done with a minimum of fuss. Being clean, especially where your older parent may not reach is important. Smelling clean, keeps people close and hugging more too. The parent usually feels better when all is said and done. I made it a routine, and their objection lessoned. Parents can be stubborn too. Good luck with your caregiving. It is one of those things like raising your kids. A very hard job. Families need each other alot. ginnie