Been thinking of my fear today. Moving forward will be easier if I can get a handle on it. I am honestly a VERY strong resilient person tho dont feel it these days as much. I know that my vit D deficiency affects my emotions alot. It can really amp up my emotions. I am making my tanning a priority.

The other thing that amps up my fear is the breathing component. While I have the support of my good, good neuro I havent really tested that support in a urgent situation. I was in the hosp prior to my SFEMG to be safe going off the mestinon but when my breathing got worse during the nite and was the next day I asked for him but was refused by the neuro staff and with a 'knowing smile' told by the student neuro that the nurse HAD chcked me during the nite and I was breathing. Gee so now we leave my truth up to a nurse. This was at the university where he is, where my neuro is.

My pulmo asked me on the phone in October if I trusted that he would be there. I said I had more trust in getting help that I used to. He guaranteed me he'd be there no matter what and gave me his direct phone number. If I can just get the chemical change under control that low vit D/elevated parathyroid puts me in..........I can get thru a risk like pushing myself to a breaking point.

Annie59