Dear Majo

i know what you mean.

most of my wardrobe doesn't fit. my normal range (yes, i have a range) is between an 8 and a 10... pushing a 12 when i get depressed it had been.

then i had like long period of cycling esp w/ hypomania and mixed states where i ended up like a 6 or a 4.

then i got real bad in the head, and we fixed me with zyprexa.

THAT's when i shot up to a 16 like a rocket.... go straight to 16... do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars.

i "inherited" clothes from my mom most of which are not "me" but i didn't plan on staying that weight.

i bought one pair winter and one pair summer pants, black, for interviewing.
i bought one pair jeans because i can't live without jeans. and i had to get a winter jacket. but that's it.

i have boxes and boxes of things i'd like to wear, and can't.

i have a really sweet leather jacket...suede... very dark brown... matching gloves.... sigh. 1 long suede skirt, 1 shortish with fringe. black leather pants which are THE thing when it gets real cold. and a black leather mini but not the kind that shows yer butt crack (how can ppl wear those????) mine is "decent."

SIGH. i love leather.

double sigh. alll hanging up there.... in my closet.... would bust at the seams if i so much as looked at them....

i am moving a lot more since i started working, i hope that will help, because i am at a plateau. i lost 5 kilos (11 lbs), then a couple more but the came and went and came and went and .... i'm up 1 lb now from when i said i was depressed and was just going into basic damage control mode. that's ok. i usually gain when depressed.... that i kept 9lbs off is goo.

lately i've been hungrier and eating more but i have to because i burn so much more.

i feel i need to let my body get used to its new routine and caloric needs, before i will lose any more.

~ waves ~