Oh, their answers are amazing aren't they?

I remember how I "admired" my first neurologist. I told him that I had difficulty doing consultation rounds on the medical floors, because I could hardly walk, talk or breath, and had to rest between each patient to the next.

and his answer was- it's the same for me.

and I thought- oh my god, this guy is so ill, and look how stoic he is, even though he just came from rounds hardly able to talk and breath he is here in the clinic just for me, and looking at him there is no way you could guess he has such problems at all. I should really be ashamed of myself to complain like that.

needless to say that a few weeks later, after calling him a few times, as my condition gradually became worse (and getting a similar kind of response), I was in the ICU with a myasthenic crisis. fortunately, mostly under the care of pulmonologists and hematologists and not neurologists. Looking back this was the first and last time I received excellent medical care that basically saved my life.

From then on, I had to gradually become an MG expert in order to take care of myself. and get used to my colleagues telling me that its not good for me to be my own physician and I should trust someone else to take care of me.

And realize that every time I follow their overall reasonable advice, I have to deal not only with my illness, but with all the rest.

eg-when I told another neurologist a few years later, that as much as I want, I can't work any more, and trying to explain to him how I felt I said- look, after I see two patients, I feel that I am about to die. his excellent recommendation was-in that case just see two patients and die. I have to admit that as much as I love my work and my patients, I decided that this was too much to die for them, so after thinking it over, I decided not to take his advice.