Thank you everyone who has responded. I'm sorry that I haven't been on here sooner but I have been in the hospital with my elderly mother for the past week. She went in thinking that she had a bladder infection and ended up having respiratory and cardiac arrest. They defibbed her twice and now she is back with us. She has kidney cancer in her right one and cycsts on her left. The right one is shriveled to nothing with the tumor cutting off the blood flow and spreading into the adrenal glands. She is 79 and refuses a blood transfusion and has a DNR order. It just frustrates me to no end. Maybe I'm being selfish but my stepdad has loved her for 60 years and they finally get married and now this happens. As for me I guess I'm on the back burner again while I try to convince my mother that life if worth living. She has 2 beautiful great grandkids and one on the way. We even went as low as parading the little ones in front of her. But that did nothing to help the situation. We were fortunate that the other hospital didn't have a copy of the living will on hand otherwise she wouldn't be here right now. We even reminded her about that fact and it still didn't affect her. Dad is beside himself right now. Hes scared as hell. I really feel sorry for the poor guy. He's such a wonderful caring person who has gone through hell and back. He lost his first wife to cancer.