Quote:
Originally Posted by Xx_Not_Emo_xX
Usually when that happens it's hard to even explain what's going on, ironically because of the problem itself. I'll usually just say I don't know or I don't care, although the frustration is obvious in my voice. I might be able to try the brain feeling fried explanation though, I don't know if I would be able to try the other explanations because they're longer, which would make them harder to say or think correctly. Maybe I'll try explaining this to some people when its least likely to happen (when I'm not already frustrated, tired, etc) so they don't get frustrated when this happens.
The situation with my dad will get much easier when I move out sometime next year, but yeah for now its tough. I would talk to my mom but certain details of what happened make me angry at her too, for example she didn't even divorce him. Most days they act like nothing ever happened. ANYWAY, I could talk to my best friend, she doesn't know but I could tell her if I felt like I needed to. She's always understanding and supportive, partly because she's been through alot of the same things I have (except for this).
It's not really particular things people ask and I not know the answer to that's the problem, its just random things that I at first don't know how to respond to and then it just becomes a huge mess of things making other things worse. Can't get my thoughts straight so I can't say the right words, mind goes blank, I get frustrated, not thinking straight gets worse....fun....lol
Thanks  |
Hey Not Emo!
I know...it can be very hard to explain and help someone understand why you can't talk or express yourself clearly when you can't really talk or express yourself clearly. This has happened to me a lot and is pretty frustrating.
The longer examples I gave are things I've used in professional situations. The shorter ones I use more with friends and family. I think what you came up with about talking with people ahead of time can be very helpful. I've done this- and basically came up with a key word or phrase, like brain fried or disoriented or I'll think about it etc and so that when it happens, I can just say a word or two and the person usually gets it.
Not sure if this is helpful to you- but I've also found that I do better at talking when I'm in a quieter, less hectic environment and when I've had time to settle in with whoever I'm with and whatever setting I'm in. For instance, if I'm out to dinner with a friend and they immediately ask how I'm doing etc, I try to refocus on them for a while because I genuinely want to know how they are doing and I know with a little time my mind that just went blank will have thoughts that I can better express. Or I'll say, it'll take me a minute to get my thoughts together but I want to know about you- how'd it go with ____? Hope this makes sense.
These things help in many situations but there are still times when I feel frustrated or embarrased. And I'm trying to learn to not get as stressed about it- because stress just makes it worse. But it's a process.
I hope your friend is helpful about the situation with your parents. I know it can be really hard to have an issue that is so poignant and constantly there be treated as if it doesn't exist.
I hope you had a good weekend!
-Hazzell