You're a lovely person, too Bobby! I wish you could see all of the good in yourself that we see.... I hope you get there!

Sometimes I can't come up with anything helpful either- just can't think of anything helpful that hasn't already been said.

I think I gave up on the idea of protection when I was little. I still feel like I need to be protected, but I can only rely on myself still.
The scapegoat is always the easiest target. My need for everyone and everything to be okay made me the most likely to just take it (and silently resent it, and sometimes begin to believe it).
I just won't take any $hi+ anymore. If I feel threatened, angry, or uncomfortable I will remove myself from the situation; but when someone touches one of those raw nerves- look out!
Despite my upbringing, I rarely yell when I get my Irish up. Surprisingly, what is said calmly seems to cut more, maybe it comes across to some angry people as condesention. Oh well, I feel like a took a big step forward when I stopped yelling.

I have a 7 lb (2 yo) female cat, and she isn't fat; a roughly 5 lb (3 yo) male, who is in excellent shape but he's small; and a 25+ lb (4 yo) male, although his frame is large cuz he's half Maine Coon, he is morbidly obese. I try to get the hefty boy's weight down by altering diet and feeding amounts and playing with him but it doesn't help.....
You'll just have to see her to find out if she's overweight. Spayed females tend to gain weight (especially in the belly). Either way, I'm sure she'll be a welcome addition and a comfort for you.
I just LOVE my cats. They are my children and my entourage! But I stop at 3. More would be just too much to handle. And besides, my husband would kill me!


I'm thinking of you Bobby