I am so glad that now you can protect yourself in a way where you don't have to yell but somehow make the other people respond. I think my father was bipolar II also so I was always afraid of him. He used to threaten me when I go him upset and say I was going to give him a heart attack. My mother could never threaten me but just gave me so much criticism. Two of my old girlfriends say how much she criticised me in front of them. I don't remember that so much.
right now I feel I can't protect myself and things are just getting unraveled.
I had a therapy session this morning but I woke up feeling awful and it is awful outside and i might have had to wait outside for the bus for a half an hour so I decided I would be crazy to go. Then I am now scared about not showing up and getting in trouble. I seem lately to be always afraid of getting in trouble.
I just wrote a close friend that she has to call me more often and talk about her situation. She is caring for both her mother and father and says it is her karma. Her mother is totally out of it and hasn't talked in so long. Her father is over ninety and keeps on falling. She has daily help as she works but she is so exhausted. Last night i talked with her and became so depressed but i felt her need was greater than mine. She is a wonderful friend.
today i just feel so scared and down.
your poor big kitty cat. it must be so hard to carry him. we are blessed to love kitty cats so much. I am looking forward to getting Pudge and hope Abby doesn't get bent out of shape. Taking care of them also gives me some purpose. It is hard for me to find purpose in life. I love to read but i feel guilty about reading novels that i enjoy. I think I should be reading something educational or spiritual not junk.
I am so scared right now
bobby
my therapist was very understanding and said she didn't think i would come in today because of the weather