Dear Majo

positive and negative emotions at the same time are completely appropriate - everyone has that happen. sometimes they can be quite strong and even CONFLICT, which makes us take notice! for instance, when someone we love very much makes us very angry. we might feel hateful towards them, but still feel deeply fond and protective of them. but that doesn't mean you are becoming hypo or depressed or mixed. this happens to "normies" too!

somewhere in my twenties i realized that feelings were not like coins, where if you are seeing one side, the other side is the opposite... so seeing both is irreconcilable ("crazy").

I think feelings are more like gems. What we might assign "opposite" faces to on a coin, are just two of the many facets on the gem. Each facet has its own slant... and that is how feelings "reconcile," not by conventional logic.

it is even possible to love and hate something/one simultaneously. in psychology this is called "ambivalence."
bipolar is an illness where feelings are heightened outside of "normal" range.... or what might be proportional to a stimulus. a manic or hypomanic state generally involves EXTRAordinarily outgoing, happy feelings (but can be irritable), while depression involves EXTRAordinarily unhappiness. and as Jaspar pointed out there are mixed states where these can coexist.

but i want to point out that this concert is a very meaningful thing to you - it is a powerful stimulus, and it follows you will have powerful feelings about it. your excitement seems in line with wanting to see the band, your fears seem in line with the past disappointments, after TWO of them, it seems 100% "reasonable" to fear another one. Finally, the stress of the trip, because you hate travel... all put together ... the picture fits.

My non-medical "diagnosis" is: you are HUMAN!!!!!!!!

Sure, with being bipolar one is more sensitive and we have to take extra care in these situations. Definitely try to get sleep as other say, or rest when you can't sleep. try not to let your mind go with good OR bad scenarios. i've found that can hurt me (if nothing else, by depriving me of SLEEP! )

But it does not sound do me like you are having an "episode" ... what you describe sounds pretty much in keeping with these strong stimuli......

do post the schedule if you feel like it maybe we can help.

i hope you have fun!!!