Hi-
I am 14 months PCS. My concussion was caused by a kayaker who lost control of his fiberglass kayak in big surf and hit me head on unaware. Lets just say I'm lucky to be here. After reading posts on this site for months I decided to join to respond.
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I understand your frustration about not being able to work out. I still can't run, jump or jar my head in any way (No elliptical, treadmill, or any quick movements). I had a seizure at 11 months and deal with a constant headache, dizziness, nausea, etc daily. For abut 6 months and two after my seizure I had "sloshing" noises if i tried to run or move my head fast. That got better! My experience was it felt like my brain was an unprotected ball stuck in a box and it would hit all the sides of the box. Now, when i walk slowly the pain will increase rapidly, not to mention the onset of fatigue or brain fogginess. Don't want to go through all the negatives of my pcs, just want to show you that you aren't alone.
First of all, be nice to yourself- its so hard to go through this! You sound like a great athlete who knows how to push yourself to reach your goals. Being an athlete it is heartbreaking to not have your body perform how it should. But please don't hurt your brain by forcing it to exercise more than needed. Allow yourself time to grieve your old lifestyle. For months I would ask my doctors can i exercise and they would say don't push it. Of course i would try to increase my activity but i would cause more pain and harm than good and then be sad because of my "failure" at not being able to do it. Giving up a sport you love can cause anyone to be depressed but on top it it dealing with PCS is unbelievably hard.
Have you ever tried yoga? Even if you have never tried it or didn't like please give it a second thought. This book that I borrowed from the library and eventually bought online at amazon helped me so much. "Yoga for Pain Relief by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. It explains gentle poses and relaxation techniques and talks about suffering and befriending the body. Most of it is not hokey or new-age at all, very simple and straightforward. Hopefully you can consider this.
Also, do you have itunes? If you do, download for FREE the Yogamazing podcast. I can't do the majority of poses because of pain- no hanging my head upside down
but its free so you can just do the ones that work for you. Each week there is a different episode- for example Yoga for Posture is what i do each day- modified. Its only about 15 minutes and so simple.
If you have access to a pool I would recommend you going. This is the only place where I don't get nauseated thinking about the pain I will get from exercising. For months I would just walk back and forth and eventually incorporated some water exercises. Kicking with a board is great b/c you can keep your head still and get your heart rate up.
Also, I hope that you have a supportive doctor and family. It is so hard to still have doubts about something undiscovered going on with your brain. Make sure that you have all the medical attention that you need and encouragement too. It's hard to get better if you don't trust that you are getting the treatment you need. Your comment about your doctor saying that you have anxiety- To be honest one of my doctors was not very supportive- I know what that feels like.
Bottom line- I know what your talking about and I hope that you can find something here to help you. If not know that Im hoping we both get better soon
P.S. Did you get your blood work taken? Check to see that you have all normal levels. I started taking vitamins, fish oil and CQ10.