Hi you are a very kind spouse to look into this. I am not married but with my mom who is the closest person to me it has been a long road of trying to find what works and does not. It changes as well. First I feel for you that you need to take care of yourself. You can't be there for your wife if you are in a bad mental or physical place. When I first got dx my mom I would sya for 6 months life stopped for her. She barely did anything but cry from me crying in pain. She reasearched for hours and hours. Anyhow as time as went on and she has begun going with friends,take a hobby class what ever I think she copes with me better. So I encourage you to do the same.
Now what helps me is for people to check in with me and say how are you even? To not judge or tell me what to do with my rsd. I think suggesting for ex to see a doctor or go for a treatment is fine. I have a family member though who tells me cause I don't do X is why I am not better etc and that really aggrevates me, Try to have things you can do together that is not health focused. If it is going for a drive even together. I remember after so many months in bed with this at the start I was at my moms and we watched a comedy show. I laughed for the first time in months. It lifted both of our spirits. This takes such a mental toll that even 5 minutes of a break can really help. To me so much is a build up of this. Ok sorry to write a novel. You both are in my thoughts