Background: My wife had to have hand surgery done and it was performed at an outside procedural center of the practice. Like going for a GI procedure and setup the same way.

After her surgery was over they came out into the waiting room and asked if I would come "claim your wife?" I got all excited and said, "How many do I have to choose from, the last one has a bad hand?" Things just went down hill from there.

Once inside the recovery area with my wife I looked right at the attending nurse and told her I had read all of the documentation and I saw no prohibition of her doing "hand jobs," was that true? I thought she was going to lose it right there. It was hilarious. She looked at my wife and asked if I was the right man claiming her and my wife very casually said when I asked her to marry me she forgot it was a multiple choice question and just said yes. It's not her fault.

As the nurse was giving final instructions she said I would have to assist my wife in putting her bra, shirt, and pants "ON!" I looked very confused and she asked if that was a problem? I said it would require a complete paradigm change in thinking as I'm only highly experienced in her clothes removal. The nurse said I would have to learn a new skill set.

As we were leaving the doctor came by one final time. I was sitting on my power scooter having my usual involuntary movements and stuff. After he finished and the nurses were all standing around us, I asked him if I could get my money back? He looked puzzled and asked what I was referring to? I said that I didn't have any of these problems when I came in last month and look at me now? Besides, I still have the receipt.

Let's just say when we left the clinic those people were not the same as when I arrived. At least I left them in a better state of mind and laughing on what appeared to be an extremely busy Monday morning of surgeries.