I watched my mom and dad, who never took care of themselves, smoked like chimneys, ate crap, and sat on their *chairs*, die way too young. My dad died on the kitchen floor of a heart attack when he was a month shy of 56, and my mom died not quite 3 years later at the age of 57 from lung cancer (actually, she gave up; doc said she was no way close to death pathologically).

They had me when they were in their late 30s; couldn't take me places or play with me. Luckily, I had a sis, 8 yrs older who took me to movies and the amusement park.

Anyway, DH and I decided to have kids while we were young so as to be able to enjoy them and still have a life after they were grown. Now I'm glad I did. Arthritis and MS have made it difficult to function the way I had hoped. I didn't want to be like my parents. And I am much more active, working out several days per week, I try to eat better than they did, I don't smoke.

But it is a daily struggle due to difficulty moving and the fatigue that hits every day. I no longer can clean the house like I used to; I can still cook up a storm, and DH is certainly happy about that...but as for being able to be mobile enough to do things with DH that he'd like to do...I'm kind of a drag. It saddens me, I guess, to feel infirm as my parents were...

And I don't like giving up, and giving in!! I want to write, darn it! I want to take awesome photos!! I want to hire a cleaning person to have my house the way I used to have it after I cleaned every Friday (I am resolved to get my way on this issue).

I want to feel as if I have a dream, a goal. One that's fun and not a drag like losing weight...that's definitely not my idea of fun