Quote:
Originally Posted by RUReady
Recently my wife has been struggling with the role of caregiver , which I understand , as a huge burden has been placed on her . I feel guilty not being able to do the things I could do before and try to look at it from her perspective . The best I can come up with is RSD is similar to having a terminal illness yet you have no end line strategy , you have no guidelines as to what is coming next and what to expect . Does this make sense and how to you help your spouse better understand ? I am not a complainer by nature and have always been the one providing help when needed so I guess it is an adjustment as well for me in a way . Any insight would be appreciated .
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RU Ready..
Iam very sorry for your dismay.. I understand your struggles, inside your heart as well outside..I struggle with this same issue myself along with my husband, Iam sure, and we also have 2 beautiful children, 17 and 14 yrs. of age.. So my daily concerns of my future overflow on to them as well... Your feelings are very valid and I see no other way than to try and walk in their shoes at times.. it is a reality check..I hate it, as I would hate for one of them to suffer with RSD and me watch them struggle with their pain... I try to live outside of my RSD box and look within..often as I can muster up the energy...There is no magic answer except...but I agree that this illness of ours is comparable to a termnal illness with as you say..no end in sight..but it does test our willingness to fight and stay positive..and our families... our norm is no longer..AND it also puts our family foundation, our unit to the test, daily..as we no longer know or remember ourselves, well our loved ones I am sure (I know) they struggle with the same feelings in that regard.. but we did not ask for this illness.. OMG who would??..others realize that... What does not kill us..makes us stronger..(well not quite that harsh) but... we must hold tight and keep the love and concern flowing, in spite of what is happening to us .. I often say..although my pain is devestating for all of us..RSD is not all my life nor their lives is about.. mine showed up 45 years into my life..We ride the roads together, good and bad..including what is happening to them on a daily basis as well, as other 'stuff' still still happens as before..life! My point is... your love will get you thru and if you ask your wife..I am sure she'll say she loves you for all that you are today and for all that you were before rSD.. Hold on, honey as we are still blessed..you would do it all for her if the tables were turned... I hope I helped you...
Hugz to a very nice day..
Kathy