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Old 02-02-2011, 11:11 PM
Wilbyfree Wilbyfree is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
10 yr Member
Wilbyfree Wilbyfree is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
10 yr Member
Default There is always a way

Quote:
Originally Posted by RUReady View Post
Recently my wife has been struggling with the role of caregiver , which I understand , as a huge burden has been placed on her . I feel guilty not being able to do the things I could do before and try to look at it from her perspective . The best I can come up with is RSD is similar to having a terminal illness yet you have no end line strategy , you have no guidelines as to what is coming next and what to expect . Does this make sense and how to you help your spouse better understand ? I am not a complainer by nature and have always been the one providing help when needed so I guess it is an adjustment as well for me in a way . Any insight would be appreciated .
Dear RuReady;

I am sorry you and your wife are going through these adversities. Maybe there is a support group your wife could attend for caregivers, they do get burned out and tired and question there abilities to cope just as we do. We suffer a huge loss with this change and we just have to get creative to give in other ways but they are just as meaningful. Don't feel guilty over something you have no control over, just try to find ways to contribute back to your family (or wife) in other ways. Things you can do to make her day a bit easier, be compassionate (not guilty) just as she is trying to be with you. Keep it simple but meaningful. Just take things a day, an hour, or a minute at a time. It's really not about the disease as it is more about "usually" the abrupt changes that take place. Only time can make these adjustments. I actually went outside for the time in years and helped my husband plow the snow. I could only withstand about fifteen minutes, but it helped him a great deal, he was very proud of me, even high fived me on the way in. I am in pain right now, but it was worth it and I probably would have been in pain either way. This is a journey of the unknown, not the inevitable, just do the best you can do and all else will fall into place. God Bless you both

Jeanie
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"Thanks for this!" says:
RUReady (02-04-2011)