Annie,

Dealing with a chronic and demanding illness (even one that is clearly diagnosed) is not easy on the patient or the family. And people respond to this in different ways. Its good if we can find the way to have special good times with our loved ones, even if there are also less good ones. it gives all some new energy to handle the hurdles down the road. I think it is important that you find the time and energy to see your grandchildren at least once in a while. I am sure it will also help you fill your batteries.

As to your question- I believe that when you yourself have to deal with those hardships it makes you understand your patients better, but it is also the other way around, I think that the fact that I was a physician and always listened and learned from my patients helped me deal much better with my own illness. Very soon after I became ill I realized that my white robe does not protect me from physical illness, nor does it protect me from the emotional responses and social and professional consequences of it.

what I found hard to deal with was that I also realized that many physicians (including those that are considered excellent and caring) do not listen to their patients and learn from them, but come to them with the self confidence of dictators knowing what is best for them, or take the opposite approach of taking very little responsibility over their care. Some of whom theoretically fully shared my approach, but in reality were very different then what they preached for.