I have family members that want to compete, but I dont have to live with them. If I have a cold, they have the flu. If I have cancer, they need a heart transplant. they can ramp it up quickly. I cant imagine how frustrating it can be to live that way.

Have you tried in a non flare moment to talk to mom? My mom would understand for a few weeks, and then would resort to her old behavior. She simply cant think past her own needs, and get very upset if you dont put her needs ahead of hers. It can be quite the wrestling match.

I hope you start feeling better soon.