lol Mari
you both have special requirements. i can appreciate how others might think it ridiculous but it does sound to me like two next-door-apartments might be useful for you. or even, having one as a base, and having the other as an option for one of you to go to when in need of space.
in the latter case, you would have to decide, a priori, who gets the "home base for sharing" apt, and who the "secondary space to run to" apt.
wondering if you could find a hotel/motel to stay at for a week to get a breather? when i moved to california i had to hotel-hop for about 2-3 weeks before getting a place... they had everything, fridge, hairdryer, phonejack for phone fax, nowadays internet cnxn/wifi should be common....
sending you good thoughts

i am sorry you are feeling so bad.


~ waves ~