i have had so many tests i can't remember them all. My surgeon wanted me to do most of them again to rule out any other cause. My recent tests have been, EMG, CT scan with that fluid they inject in you, MRI, x-ray. Everything is fine. they are actually suprised at how healthy i am (which i am thankful for). i only lost stregnth in the very beginning. i havent dropped anything in a few years. i have also consulted with neurologist and orthopedic surgeon. the only thing that came back was that my c-7 on my spine is slightly bulged. This happened because i used to work in a jail where i had to open and close very heavy doors constantly. i was at that job for 2 yrs when it began. i have been at my present job for 4 years now.

i have had 3 rounds of physical therapy. my first two physical therapsits both recommended i have the rib resection done. when this first happened, i couldnt even lay down flat on my back without screaming. i couldnt wear anything that actually touched my chest. the only reason i was diagnosed is because my chest continuously looks like i have a sunburn, my arms and fingers are always swollen, and my pain is extreme. it's more painful on days that i work or do a lot of activity. unfortunately, i do not feel pain while i am doing something, like gardening or cleaning. i feel it hours later, or days later. i am really active, and it has taken years for me to learn how to stop doing things. i now have to evaluate if i think it's worth it (the pain that comes later) and if i have enough time to rest afterwards. i have been in acupunture for two years. it does work - if i went at least 2 times a week. i cannot afford that. i have done massage therapy also, my desk at work is ergonomically correct. however, my manager will not make any other adjustments for me, saying some of the actions are an essential part of my job, like filing for example, that if i cannot do it i will have to be on disabiltiy. being permanently disabled is my worst fear. so i have lived with it. i have decided to do that surgery because my pain is so high. it is always at least a 4 (1-10) on meds, and does get as high as an 8 on meds. i have had to take off work to just rest. between that and all my dr appointmetns i have no vacation or sick time left, and i now have to be on disabiltiy for my recovery.

i am also on well-butrin, 150mg(?) twice a day. that has helped. i am already very anxiety prone. i have lost many friendships over this because people just do not understand. it took years for even my family to understand. i can say that it has become better than when it first happened. at that point, my hand were so swollen that my fingers actually touched. that's the only reason why i stopped working - because i wasnt allowed to work. i actually have a very high pain tolerance, and it took my job saying i am a liabiltiy to them for me to stay home and my work comp case to start to get nasty. i settled that in 2006 and will never work in law enforcment again.

i take breaks away from desk and walk around. i sit correctly with my keyboard in my lap, feet on a stool, and my monitor where i can look down slightly at it. i cannot look up at anything for too long. my life has nearly stopped. i am not able to do anything after i work. i have to rest now. i can't even walk the dog. that's why i decided to have surgery. my next option for the pain is a phyntenol patch. i just can't do that. i cried when my dr. put me on methadone. none of the other pain meds work though. i have tried them all, and every anti deprassant that helps with pain, and everything for neuropathic pain (gababpentin etc..). i'm at the end of my rope, literally.

i am not married, and have always supported myself, even when i was married. i know the only thing that will really help is if i stop working. i cannot think of any job where there isnt some type of activity that will aggrevate it. if you have any suggestions for any type of career change i am all ears. i have wanted to go to law school, even have my lsats done, i just cant because i cannot sit a desk like that. i'm ok with giving up law school, i'm just not ok giving up my life.

i really appreciate you responding, thank you.