my heart goes out to you Erin. I felt it when you said you wished it would go back to where ever it came from. Me too. I hate what my life turned out to be and I have a hard time like you dealing with it all at times. My cousin dianne has ms. Her Aunt has ms. I went on a vacation with both of them.They had a caretaker that I became friends with. We went on one of those really good trips to Puerto Rico and I learned about ms. I was very grateful to have the time with them too. I hope that there are a few people near to you that can give you the extra hug. none of these horrible conditions people get is fair thats fore sure, and it make you question your own faith at times, no matter what the faith is. Half the time I think I'm going nuts because there are so many troubles in my life. I am in good company on this thread and other people go through even more. I try to think about that when my own stuff overwhelms me. Thats what I am doing one day at a time. I try not to panic, and fail some of the time. I want to go back to my working adult life too instead of dealing with the paperwork, the agiencies, the doctors, tests, surgeries, pain, and all the other things you have to do when these conditions happen. I bet most of the people here maybe feel the same way. My heart goes out to you on this valentines day. One hurt heart to another, wishing you that this day will bring just a bit of peace in your life. Be good to yourself, I hope you have a friend near that you can enjoy this day with and have a movie or a treat of some kind. ginnie