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Old 02-19-2011, 11:36 AM
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Patti_Christmas Patti_Christmas is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Eaton Rapids, MI
Posts: 146
10 yr Member
Patti_Christmas Patti_Christmas is offline
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Patti_Christmas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Eaton Rapids, MI
Posts: 146
10 yr Member
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I feel the same way for about my husband. I feel so bad for him because life before RSD, while hard and filled with long work days, was at least enjoyable to a certain degree. No matter how hard or frustrating work was, or how upset we were, we could always comfort each other. I was the one that took care of the housework, took care of the kids, took care of our dogs, ran the "taxi service" for the kids, cooked, shopped, etc. Now, I can't even shower with his help. I have trouble stepping into our tub/shower. He has to help me, I can no longer bend over to wash my legs, etc so he has to. I can't dry or dress myself without his help. We fight with our auto insurance every step of the way. So far, we have been lucky and usually "win". Currently, we are fighting with SSI, but we do have an attorney that has actually made progress and feels very, very good about my claim.

This may be too much information, but our sex life went from very active to non-existant. In Sept of 2010, I had a spinal stimulator implant to "help" with the pain in my right foot and leg, only to make things much worse. They had to re-do it in Dec of 2010, as the battery popped out of my side about 1/2". It was horrible! Since Aug of 2010, we have only had one attempt at "sex". He was extremely sorry, as he saw how much pain I was in. I know that our marriage isn't based solely upon this, and for that I am very grateful. It's just I feel like I am a failure of a wife, a woman, especially since pre-RSD we had a very physcial as well emotional life. We aren't very old - he's 46 and I'm 41. It's depressing for me, and I know it's got to be depressing to him. I can't complain or cry to him about this because I know he is "suffering" from this as well. RSD does not just affect one person, but everyone. The pain may be different and a bit easier for "caregivers", our loved ones, but it still is there. I hate it when he tries to comfort me and I cringe. I can see the hurt and loss in his eyes. He does so much for me, and how do I repay him? By crying, complaining, cringing. How long can this go on? How long can I ask him to sacrifice his life for me? From what I have read, RSD works in "stages". I fear that I am at the final stage - nothing has worked, anything they try increases the symptoms. The feet/leg cramps are awful. My toes on my right foot are fused - when I get cramps they literally stick way up and out. It is hard to get it to go away as I can't just "stand on it" or massage it because touching my skin is horrible. I just ride it out. I'm tired of riding it out and relying on others.

Sorry for hijacking your thread. I too feel bad for my spouse, my "caregiver" as well as my family. I can and will only offer you a cyber hug, as the "real" hug would hurt more then it's worth.
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"Thanks for this!" says:
RUReady (02-21-2011)