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Junior Member
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 18
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Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 18
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I do live in worry, to an extent and it has gotten worse lately, along with my health. Yes, the seemingly little problems that turn into ongoing nightmares are really trying my patience and often I feel that because I have so many different specialists on my roster, each one feels that another is solving the problem. Yet, nothing gets done, the problems get worse and multiply. It's so frustrating when you are trying desperately to restart a life and to constantly have physical problems jump into your path, to have people expect you to buck up and move on and yet be told that you cannot pursue things until your health is better managed.
I've accepted that my CRPS will not improve and actively try to alleviate pain symptoms, while still trying to maintain clear thinking through medication use. It's the complications that scare me: infections, exterior ulcers from cold/poor circulation, gastrointestinal fiascos of all kinds. And it scares me that I cannot find a medication that modifies pain without making me feel like a complete moron. Because of all these things, I worry that my youth has been wasted, my education will never be used for anything but good dinner table conversation, and that I will never be able to find and function in an intellectually, emotionally and financially satisfactory career. And the threats to my personal life worry me so that I fear my friends and family will become even more apathetic as time wears on.
So yes, I have many fears now thanks to CRPS. But, I don't think about them in bed at night. I fantasize about a simple things I want to do (eg. shop through a market in Vietnam) and between that, my cheap and beloved sleep mask (get one!) and a change in sleep meds, I'm getting better sleep. Like you, I was only getting spots at a time.
I've also started focusing pro-actively on my health, looking up nutrition, alternative meds etc. instead of constantly reading about CRPS and my other conditions. Spending more online time doing fun things like watching videos, emailing/messaging about non-health related issues and doing research on various topics of interest. The latter gives me better things to think about and perspective. I also switched my nighttime tv viewing to (mostly) comedic shows, skipping the crime and medical dramas.
I hope you take some comfort in knowing you are not alone, and find ways to help yourself de-stress.
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