Alrighty, I have quite a lengthy story for you all and really need some help.


In late September, I suffered a concussion during one of my football games.
I continued to play the remainder of the first quarter (I was injured on the opening kickoff). I basically "woke up" on the sidelines and remebered absolutely nothing. I didn't know where I was or who we were playing. My friends told me that I basically walked of the field making strange waving motions with my hands. I told the coach I felt like I was floating and he sent me to the trainer over on the bench. They also told me while I was sitting there I asked the same obvious questions over and over and over again; "Did I play good? Did I start? Did I make any tackles?" They also said I had an astonished look on my face as such = haha.

Anyways, at halftime they took me to the hospital. There I recieved a CT scan which came back negative and I went home to sleep for the night.

The next morning I went to the Sports Medicine Clinic nearby the town. I met a doctor who told me he had talked with me Friday night on the sidelines. I, however, dont even remeber ever seeing this guy! He tells me I have a grade 3 concussion. He said that I would need to sit out abit and take it easy.

After only a short week of resting, I returned to practice the next week for Monday's practice. I had passed all the impact tests and did physical activities with no symptoms. The entire week I had no headaches, no dizziness, no sickness, nothing.

So I practice for two days and the next wednesday in school was when it all started. I was sitting in 4th period and all of a suddent BAM. I feel really dizzy and I know where I am but I really dont. I feel like I'm going to faint. This experience lasted a HORRIBLE five minutes and then I finally asked to go to the nurse's office. When I got downstairs, I was terribly worried and felt as though I was fading away from everything: my surroundings, my conciousness, my life. I felt like I was going to die.
They called my parents and I was sent home for the day. I missed school the following day and then went our game that friday. I played two more weeks all the while feeling EXREME anxiety (which I have come to find closely resembles depersonalization) and then couldn't take it anymore. I had to see a doctor, who informed me of Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS). He told me to sit out the remaining two games of the season and I would probably be ready for basketball.

So...

I sat out those two weeks and then went to basketball the week after the end of the season. During my first week of basketball, we had a scrimmage during which I almost blacked out and had the same feeling of not knowing "what was going on" or "reality". So I went to the doctor and he recommended I sit out untill these symptomes resolved.





I finally returned to basketball in early January. My sypmtoms had not gone away though. The doc put me on Prozac to treat my unbearable DP and Depression.


Now I need help. I have seen a Neurologist twice, and family doctor three times, and I am currently seeing a counciler. My headcase has become an overbearing thought. Literally 24/7 I think about it and am constantly thinking about what I'm thinking about (Hope that makes sense ) I had a horrible time sleeping at nights and couldn't fal asleep w/o the television. Everytime I tried to w/o it, I would feel like I was goning to die. I dont have physical symptoms like headaches, etc. In fact, I never had the PCS headaches, though my grades have plummted horribly and I cannot enjoy anything because I cannot get the feeling that I dont "feel right" or that something is wrong with me out of my head. Its been 5+ months now; is this perminent?? I need help. Even though I wrote all this, words cannot the strange feelings I get such as unreality and that my mind will eventually fizzle and be unfunctional. How have I possibly made it this far?? Everyday for 2 hrs or so I come home on my Laptop and search the web vigorously for PCS symptoms and wish to find someone with similar feelings. I have been reasured time and time again that recovery for me looks good but I can't seem to fathem being NORMAL again. I have found some sites advertising products such as "Concutab" and "Cosotin" which "completely heal" PCS. Do they work?? Prozac hasnt helped much. I have been contemplating suicide for so long and need this obsession out of my head...PLEASE HELP

Thanks so much for listening to me....I needed to vent