beacon,

I am so sorry to hear of you and your husbands struggles. It reminds me of what my wife went through about ten years ago.

First, I would find the best Social Security Disability attorney you can find. Your husband qualified ten years ago. Since he has not worked in ten years, his income history will be poor. You need an attorney who will go to bat for you due to your failure to apply long ago.

I waited to apply until my struggling to work with my wife's help just got to be too much. By then, my income history had dropped so much that my SSDI payment was decreased by $150 per month.

Regarding your husbands condition, Dr Robert Cantu in Concord, Mass has experience with the delayed onset of PCS. Your husband sounds like the many retired football players whose PCS hits them in their early 40's.

Dr Julian Bailes in West Virginia is also an expert. Maybe their offices can refer you to someone more local.

You also need to find a good TBI support group. You need the support of others who are living with this same situation.

You also need to continue working with your husband to discover work-arounds and accommodations to allow him to be more productive. I can be explosive and know how to recognize the signs and hopefully turn and walk away. By now, I bet you are quite good at recognizing when his eyes start to show his struggles.

My heart goes out to you because I know what it is like to lose your spouse and help-mate and income earner. I have watched it as my wife has found support from others. The changes in personal relationships is difficult.

I have had to learn a lot of relational disciplines because the natural behaviors from the heart just do not flow. I see the effort my wife puts out and know I need to be disciplined to respond. Sometimes, I feel like a fraud since my responses are usually due to discipline rather than my heart. But, it is what works to keep the relationship working. I have an amazing wife just like your husband has.

The spousal relationship when dealing with mTBI and TBI is unique and more difficult than a parent to child relationship. You seriously need to connect with another wife or two whose is/has lived in this situation. I'll start a thread and see if any wives respond.

Have you helped your husband with nutrition? There are many post on this forum discussing nutrition and vitamin and other supplements. I can not function without my supplements. The injured brain is a cesspool of toxins from the damage and the cascade effect of the chemical imbalances. Search nutrition or vitamin on this forum.

Download and read the TBI Survival Guide at www.tbiguide.com There are some other great online resources, too.

Hope this helps to the time being. Stay in touch. There are many experienced people here.

My best to you two.