Oh Annie,
I am so sorry you are going thru this. All the advice your friends have given sure sound good. I hope you do get help.
I undestand how devistating it all is. I am sorry your appointment went so bad. We all know that feeling, already diagnosed before the door is opened. Not fair. A waste of our time. Feeling at such a weak point just makes it so much worse.
I have no words of knowledge but know I am thinking of you and hope you are able to get the help you need.