Dear faithful prayer warriors,

I don't remember taking too many steps forward, but I am seeming to be taking those all too famous 3 steps backwards.

I've had 3 panic attacks in the last ten days, each one a bit more intense.

My son wanted to take me to the ER yesterday, I said I'd go but I wanted to talk to my Dr first. He advised me to take some Xanax and call back in an hour. Twice the normal xanax calmed me but didn't put me out like I expected.

I go to the Dr on Monday. I'm still feeling anxious, but not oppressively so. I have so many dialogs going on, WorkComp who approved my injury claim but now have denied my compensation claim, SSDI, Disability Retirement from the PO, Lawyer dealing with third party accident claim, A union rep, who seems to want to do 3 out of 5 arm wrestles to determine who's right everytime I speak to him. And no income.

But God has been faithful through all of this. His will and being faithful to run this race His way is my objective. I am going to have to give up the few things outside of my home it seems, I want a submissive heart.

I also think that even after 13 months, I'm still in denial about what is happening. Losing my balance, my ability to walk, my short term memory are getting more difficult to deny. Reality has kinda slapped me this week.

A plan for my future treatment, a balance of meds that will allow me to be motivated to set goals, a balance in my life so that I don't take on more than God would have me to. That the Holy Spirit would direct me and I would follow His direction. These are the prayer requests I have.

<< Luke 11 >>
11“Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? 12“Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? 13“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?”

stuttering and shaky,
pat e
Hey the sun is shining here today. There is always hope.