Laura-
I am sorry, but I should have continued my tale of life. Leaving it as I did gives only part of the picture.
We last saw Hero Child (that's me) trying to hold it all together as the leaks in the dam worsened and the jute mill exploded....
At the age of 17, the Counter Culture came to my little corner of Appalachia and I joined up. Heck, I and a half dozen friends opened the local franchise.
I stopped trying to save my family, "allowed" my father to commit suicide, and wished my mother well as she boarded a bus to begin a new life in New Orleans. Eating large amounts of illicit chemicals, engaging in wild behaviors, and generally turning my bare butt to society. But, even in these heady days (pun intended), the ingrained nature remained- one does not drive when one should not; anyone who uses a syringe is not welcome in the circle; there's more to it than just getting sloppy; some pills are just an alcohol concentrate and alcohol is dummy dope; etc.
Even in embracing decadence I remained stubbornly responsible. As I reached my early 20s and began to emerge from that phase of life, I met my wife and married. Like me, another Hero Child pushing angels aside to get there first, but with the added benefit of her obvious need for me to protect her from the world (silly girl didn't even know it
). Then 25 years of being strong as life delivered blow after blow. And, finally, a tremor as my body said "Enough, already!" Fast forward ten years to today - health ragged, marriage shakey, bankrupt. And I am just as stupidly responsible as ever! Haven't learned a thing on the levels that count. Not sure that I want to anymore. After all, I've ridden the beast this far. And, let's face it, the world would pretty well suck without the Heroes (you know who you are). I just wish it weren't so damned hard. (For the rest of you, I mean. I can handle it.
)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Conductor71
Interesting, Rick. I can say that I have an alcoholic parent who I am still parenting. When he is sober, he says very little. When he is drunk, he says too much. Moondaughter hits it...no boundaries. Needless to say, my father, who also has a tremor (PD never emerged), doesn't know of my diagnosis though I need him now more than ever. I am that vigilant child again looking out for him... Is this what happens to me for protecting my father's fragile emotional state?
In this regard I do have that "classic PD" personality trait, but here is where we differ. Instead of avoiding novelty, I embraced it. I feared it, mind you, yet I embraced it. When most people were married and having kids, I was quitting a professional position and gallivanting off to Paris at the ripe age of 32...married at 33! <gasp>. Divorced. First child at age 41. I have done just the opposite of what was expected of me.
Rick, I think your theory is sound, I just want to point out that being reserved or non-risk taking as a expression of PD doesn't fit for all of us. Rather we should look to expression of extremes. Novelty seeking vs. stability; they are just sides of the same coin. Our personalities are just as imbalanced as the rest of us. Funny, though all the while I was chasing baguettes, I was yearning really for a stable, reliable partner, someone I could depend on, yet no one would have ever guessed it because I didn't even know that is what I needed and wanted...
Laura
|