Aussie, sorry about your experience with the surgeon. Unfortunately, that is not an uncommon experience. As to your question, it does not sound like you did any additional damage to your spine. The tailbone pain is not unusual after you try to resume activity after surgery. People will get that when they try to resume exercising as well. The rule of thumb is to try an activity ( marital or otherwise) and see how you respond. If you experience pain, then wait an additional week and you can try again. I would recommend "going easy" if possible. You will likely find you have pain when you resume activities, but it should be less as you get further away from the surgery. Most surgeons recommend waiting 6 weeks after surgery before resuming exercise. That probably applies to sexual activity as well, though many people resume THAT activity sooner without long term ill effects.