Doc, I know exactly what you mean with this- and I think that's the hardest part about my condition. I have always been *the strong one* to whom everyone else has turned when they needed support or answers. Now I am finding that those same people don't have the strength to support me.
I think in general I am surrounded by a lot of these drama queen/kings who are now having trouble when I can't put all of my energy into their needs or wants.

I make it a point NOT to talk about my pain or condition or anything related to it unless I am specifically asked, and even then, I don't go into details (which YES, is why I am here, on this board, with other folks who can relate to my situation.)
But even when I am asked- which lately I hear a lot of "Why don't you open up and try to talk to me/us about what you're feeling or what's going on? We can't help if we don't know"- then these same people that ask end up saying the typical things:

"You should try...(stretching, exercise, a new doctor, etc, etc, etc.)"

"I knew [fill in blank] who had that, and they don't [act, hurt, cry, complain, etc] like you do"

"You'd feel better if you would just [get more sleep, eat better, live healthier]"

"Oh, just take your medicine and relax, and it will all be okay"

"You need to [get your mind off it, suck it up, tough it out]"

(On this my favorite saying is 'If I have to pull up my big girl panties anymore, the elastic will break and I'll really be showing my ***!")

And then my personal favorite response to my talking about pain is when someone (a 'normie') tries to TRUMP my pain with theirs- if I say (and again, as I said, this is only after being asked!) that it feels like there's a lightning bolt shooting down my leg and I can't go to the grocery store right now, they will say something like "Yeah, my knee's been killing me too! I think I need a couple of Advil" and proceed to ignore or blow off what I just said by going into details of their knee pain, then change the subject entirely.

I've learned as everyone's said that when people ask me how I am doing, they don't really want to know, so I just smile and nod, and say something jokingly like "I could complain, but it wouldn't do me any good"

But ya know, the truth is, I'm not even really talking about people not listening, or wanting to hear about my pain and condition. My main complaints about a lack of support are:
About people who know about my condition, pain, limitations, etc, and still need to be reminded from day to day that I cannot jump up and go at a moments notice, or drop everything to do what they want to do, when they want to do it.
about people who have seen me struggling to walk from my chair to the toilet and don't seem to understand that the condition that limits my mobility at home would also make it impossible to go shopping at the mall- and that this frustrates me just as much as it does them.
about The people who work at the store who act as if I'm being lazy by riding the buggy around because I look too young or otherwise healthy to have any mobility limitations.
about the people in the store who get angry because the buggy takes up more room in an aisle than an individual standing up, and that I take longer to
make my selections because I can't move as quickly as normies.


LMAO- You get that too???? At least once or twice a week, my in-laws mention some new cream or cure they heard about, and most involve things I've already tried or are scams. (They are in their 70's are targets for scam artists trying to sell them some new anti-aging or arthritis product!)
I try to take it with a grain of salt, because at least they are trying to show they care, the best way they know how.


I couldn't have said it better myself!

Thanks to ALL who responded to this thread- it shows to me the truth- we ARE all in this together, and we can all relate to these same issues.
Without this board, and my new friends, I'd be a mess!