i duno things change
i have to throw myself into work lately

my pdoc wants me on zyprexa but i dn't wanna. i'm having more of the other stuff, more or less, i guess.... i feel like i took dove into a spring of hormones and... or something watch honey drip can't keep away. i am supposed to call him.

i don't see the point i am not going to take it i will jstu see him next week. i can think, see - not word salad.

the evening took on strange developments. i not safe to talk right now i find i yabble on about something then feel weird about it

my feelings are yoyoing and intesely. i am trying hard not to do things. and not, not doing things. then overwhelmed by a sea of clarity then sanity then anxiety then frivolity and around and around the mulberry bush...

got to work at 8 and held my one indeed my boss had to go hide and figre things out on the side coz he felt overwhelemd i have been feeling sad for him, he seems to have quite a lot on his shoulders. goint to try to help him. he's still unreasonable but after 3 semi-friendly arguments he's gonna get something done the only way i can see it get there, like it or not. if he don't, eh can send it bac to the chef.

speaking off, dinner was great - risotto with spiced sausage... here it is a common dish - was done expertly by my host.

great coz i got in at 10 the day before

sometimes i am too fast and my boss had to go hide so i'd quit witht he questions but he we nice to me

today was noisy

he was a jerk my risotto guy

i don't know if he meant to

i sure got mad

as hell

i left early after a mere 2 flutes of bubbly.

i made rice for the leftover vegetables for dinner and extra for tomorrow mom too. my boss likes plain rice too.

the dinner was risotto it was excellent treatment so delicate too i have no i dea as to the rest i have been in great unrest in general

i go to lunch have to take down 3 beers to be ok to work the afternoon today lorazepam then i get decaf coffee to drink in front of others so in case i spritz too much joy or sheer frivolity they can blame it on the caffeine.