its that time of year again. MRI time! now, I know all they want me to do is lay down. not dig ditches in the freezing cold with no clothes on (actually I would find that easier) or carry heavy loads from floor to floor. They just want me to lay down! Be that as it may, I am TERRIFIED! I am also very drug resistant and the last 3 times they tried to knock me down it was a real rodeo. They used enough meds to "knock down a small village" and I was wide awake, and still terrified. I cried, I sobbed, and inbetween they would say ok, catch your breath, and hold still for 2 mins. Then between sets would just allow me to cry. it was awful!

I have found that esp when I am IN flare my anxiety goes wild! I begged the MD to skip my MRI or allow me to go to an open MRI, but since I have a brain tumor as well, he wants me in the 3 telsa machine even if it means heavy sedation. The nursing staff at the big girl hospital said "if you need another MRI have them call anesthesia" so...I told the MD about it. He looked it up, considered the records and said "ok." I said "ok what? can I skip it?!" and he said "oh no, you ARE going to have an MRI, but I will provide the anesthesologist for you." DARNIT!!!

Does anyone else have this level of panic IN or around a flare? My date is the 30th of this month. Im like a child who is over tired in the grocery store. I DONT WANNA!