I think I'm OK with things not going exactly back to the way they were, but to feel this terrible everyday is depressing (mostly the dizziness - it feels like someone is stirring a stick around in my head, right above & behind my eyes!).

I do want my life back and I guess I do understand it won't be quite the same. But I really hope to feel better and deep down, I know I will. I have great fear of not being able to go back to work (I'm so fortuante to be on dissability - I know not everyone has this option!). Finally, I was in a position at work that I truly loved! I was so luckly! But that job requires a lot of multi-tasking, public speaking, many meetings, etc. My boss often said I was one of two of her best leaders/managers. I hate that now, I would be her worst one! OK, my vent is over - I feel better now - lol.

Perhaps by learning more work-arounds, it will take some of the stress off my brain. I'm also terribly bored which I think is perhaps a good sign because for the first year, I wasn't bored at all. Even if all I did was sit and stare the wall - it was all I could handle at the time. But now, I want to do more and maybe I'm pushing it a bit too much with the computer and TV. Maybe more visits to the swimming pool and as spring approaches, more time outside. We have tons of snow here - ugh!

Oh, and my visual over-stimulation is both light and clutter. But the light sensitivity is a little better now. Anytime I'm in a new environment, I get very dizzy as my brain trys to process what is around me. My home is pretty clutter free. Perhaps I need to train myself not to try to "see" everything when I'm in a new environment. And I think the various shades of sunglasses might really help.